Well, it happened. I'm getting a divorce. Words I thought I would never say. I never considered divorce to be an option. But, it was the only option. For the first time in a long time, I cannot find the words to express how I'm feeling. I'm sad, relieved, overwhelmed.. I'm trying really hard to … Continue reading Divorce. A New Beginning.
I’m traumatized. Trau·ma/ˈtroumə,ˈtrômə/noun 1. a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. When I began therapy, my therapist began with a series of “intake questions.” Normal things such as, “rate your depression 1-10.” Then, she asked about family life and my childhood. She asked if I had ever witnessed domestic violence. I replied, “No, my parents never hit … Continue reading Trauma
When I feel as if I have lost all controlI tip my head backSuccumb to the ecstasyJust one moreThe pain, all the worry just begins to gently slip awayLike a leaf falling from a treeThe numbness sets in as I hit the groundAlmost erotic - to feel nothingTo not feel lostTo not feel miserableTo feel … Continue reading Just One More Time
When your plane is crashing. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first. Along with anything mental health, there is a huge stigma around being selfish. Putting your needs above someone else's is seen as something negative. If someone were to call you out for being selfish, it would probably hurt your feelings. … Continue reading Being Selfish.
Inpulsive. Adjective. Acting or done without forethought. I'm impulsive. I make decisions quickly, without thinking. I lie to myself to validate these decisions, to make them fit my narrative. When I was a child, it was a sparkly pair of shoes, the last pair on the shelf! Two sizes too small. I would look my … Continue reading August 7, 2019.
I feel like in the matter of 4 months my life has begun to spiral out of control. Like I’m stuck in some sort of sleep paralysis or outer body experience. I'm watching myself lose control from afar and no matter how hard I cry, kick or scream, there's nothing I can do to stop … Continue reading Marriage.